Talk Like a Pirate Day
2 weeks to 2 months
In 2005, as the Kansas State Board of Education considered including Intelligent Design in its science curriculum, an unemployed slot machine engineer named Bobby Henderson sent them an open letter. Within it, he revealed the nature of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who created the entire universe after a bout of heavy drinking. Pirates are an essential part of the Pastafarian mythology, as they are "absolute divine beings"; in fact, the decline in their numbers since the 1800s has led to a number of natural disasters, including earthquakes, tornados, and global warming.
As a wicked parody of (un)intelligent design, the FSM was a wildly popular success. His legend has grown, and is still celebrated years since the Kansas Board of Education decided to nix the bad curriculum. Pastafarianism is a great vehicle to mock the absurdities of faith, as well as to draw attention to continuing encroachments by religion on public education. Talk Like a Pirate Day is the perfect holiday to celebrate His Noodly Goodness and educate the spagnostics.
The amount of time you need depends on how big you want your event to be. You'll want anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months to plan. If you need to reserve space on campus, get that done as far ahead as possible. Make a checklist of what needs done to make the event happen, and note how long each step will take.
To properly evangelize, you'll need signs which explain Pastafarianism and intelligent design (ideas below). A number of flyer and brochure designs are available here.
You can also make monuments and representations of the FSM in any material you like: yarn, felt, ceramics, paint, clay, even spaghetti.
Many schools that have a Pirate Club will already be celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day; see if and how you can join their celebration. Other clubs that frequently celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day include gaming clubs or self-proclaimed "geek" clubs. You can also talk to professors in science departments, who may be willing to devote a portion of class time to the theory of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - provided that they dress in full pirate regalia, of course.
- FSM Evangelism - Probably the best way to show off your devotion and preach the Gospel, this involves your group donning pirate regalia, holding signs and passing out fliers to spread the good news about the FSM. Copy the techniques and oratory of real evangelists, but with a better sense of humor. Look for examples on YouTube and venganza.org.
- Counter-Evangelism - The same as above, but done next to or opposite "real" evangelists. It can be fun and entertaining, but be prepared for nasty looks/words.
- FSM Spaghetti Dinner - A fundraiser/social event described in the FSM Spaghetti Dinner packet.
- FSM vs. God - Have one person dressed as His Noodliness and another dressed as God battle to the death. God can be replaced by deity of your choice.
- Costume Contest - If you're having a party or social event for Talk Like a Pirate Day, why not have a costume contest? Contestants can be judged on style, accuracy, and who can give the best "Aargh!"
- Tabling - Can be used in conjunction with other events to promote your group; see Awareness Tabling packet.
- "In the beginning was the word, and the word was 'Aargh!'" - Piraticus 13:7
- Have YOU been touched by His Noodly Appendage?
- May You Be Blessed By His Noodly Appendage
- WWFSMD? (What Would Flying Spaghetti Monster Do?)
- Stop Global Warming - Become a Pirate!
- Graph comparing decline of Pirates and rise in global temperature
- Quotes about the FSM, ID, or spaghetti
- Kiss Me, I'm a Pirate
- Pictures of the FSM
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster Has Landed
- Feel His Noodly Embrace
- Pasta Is My Homeboy
- Peace & Noodles
- In Pasta We Trust
- "You Can't Disprove the Flying Spaghetti Monster" - Richard Dawkins
- Believe Your Noodly Master, Hon [Baltimore only]
People can't attend your event if they don't know it's happening! Look through the Group Promotion and Media Relations resource for promotion ideas. If appropriate, send out a press release about your event. We have an in-depth Press Release Resource to guide you.
You can do these in a group or as an individual talking to a crowd (like a comedy routine).
- Global warming: Pastafarians see the decline of the pirate population as the root cause of global warming. There is a clear correlation between the number of pirates in the world and the rise in global temperature, so obviously they must be connected. By others adopting the pirate lifestyle and donning their regalia, we can significantly reduce the global temperature and save the world.
- Gravity: We are only able to walk on the Earth because the FSM holds each of us down with his noodly appendages. If he did not, we would all float into space and suffocate. Therefore, we should all be thankful to him, especially shorter people because he loves them more and pushes them closer to the ground.
- Old Earth: The FSM created the universe very recently because he procrastinated. So to make the universe look older, he placed each light particle closer to the Earth to create stars, skipping the billions of years it would take for their light to reach us naturally. He also placed dinosaur bones in the ground to make us believe in evolution as a joke.
- Friendly banter: You can get more talking points from the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster if you want, or make stuff up. Because the Pastafarian religion is satire, you can create any number of humorous theological points and claim they’re true, just like young Earth creationism. Here are some puns you may enjoy using for a cheap laugh as well
- Why aren’t there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones’ Locker? Dead men sell no snails!
- What’s the pirate’s favorite movie? Booty and the Beast!
- What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say? I’d like to buy an Aye!
- What’s every pirate’s favorite flavor potato chip? Barrrrrrbeque!
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!
- What’s the pirate’s favorite movie? Arrrgo!
- What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? HIGH SEAS!
- How do pirates pay for a round o' rum down at the pub? With Bar-Nickels!
- What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with? Relationships!
- How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A Buck-an-ear!
- Why did the pirate go to the Apple Store? To buy an iPatch!
- What is a pirate's favorite element? Aye. Ye might say aarrrrgon, but no, it's the element of surprise!
- What happened when Bluebeard the Pirate fell into the Red Sea? He got Marooned!
One of the best resources to find out what works and what doesn't is you - our student leaders! If you've employed a strategy that worked well, let us know about it so other groups can also use that idea. If you've learned a lesson of caution about something we suggest, point out the pitfalls! Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your stories and experiences!